Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Light

I’ve been under stress since I was eight-years-old. So, I’m pretty good at stress management. Most people would crumble under the amount of stress that I’ve been under in the last 25-years. However, I’ve managed to stay on top. And it’s not because I’m so strong or so smart. It’s mainly because I’ve always been open to the notion that light can drive out the fear and anxiety that darkness brings.

Today, I’m surrounded by darkness. And I’m not talking about visual darkness. I’m talking about the darkness that comes when life circumstances are so gloomy and dark that it’s hard to find hope and encouragement. Right now, I’m battling fear, worry, and anxiety. However, I’m calling for the light to strike the darkness and drive the negative feelings away. I’m commanding the light to overtake the darkness and allow me to see God in all of this that I’m going through.

**God, I know you’re still here with me. But it would do my heart well to see you right now. God, Please shine your light and drive the darkness away so that I might see your hand at work in this situation.

I know I haven’t told you a lot lately, but I do love you beyond human measure. And my heart is yours. I place my life in your capable and loving hands.

Your child,

Angela**

Sunday, January 02, 2011

The Tiny Giant (Part 1 of 4)

I’ve been hearing people say that 2011 is the beginning of a new decade. That idea got me to thinking… Hmmm… Is it really the beginning of a new decade, or was last year the beginning of a new decade?
Okay… Let’s think about this together… When we flipped from 1999 to 2000, people were calling that the new millennia. But was it? I’m thinking that the year 2000 was the last year of that particular century. Were we counting from 0 to 99 or 1 to 100?
Well if we were counting from 0 to 99, last year was the beginning of this particular decade, not this year… Yeah, I know that’s a little quirky and a bit technical… LOL My brain can be a little weird at times.
If you have some ideas on this let me know.

Okay… On to the good stuff…

Well, every since 2000 rolled in, my life took on a different look and texture than it had been before the start of the so called new millennia”. It was the first week of 2000 that I entered full time employment. It was the first year that I started my own business. It was the first year that I started feeling like a woman. I was 25 then. I was young and ready to take on the world! And I had proof that I could conquer the world. Just two years before the turn of the so called “new century”, I had successfully matriculated through a hellish college experience. So, I was convinced I could do any task that was placed before me.

Now, that I’m well beyond 25, I realize how much of a child I really was. Yeah, I was mature for my age, but I was so young, so naive, so inexperienced, so inspired to believe that there was nothing that could stop me from achieving my personal best. Now that I look back on the year 2000, I realize how innocent, pure, unchaste, and relentless I was. I had unbendable hope, defiant faith, and unwavering determination. Nothing… And I mean nothing was going to stop me.

Little did I know that in 2002, I would be introduced to a pervading force that was so strong, so bold, so fierce, and so vicious, that even the super, courageous, always achieving, blind girl would be knocked flat on her face, with no clue if she had the tools to overcome the towering giant. I was completely clueless that there was a set of circumstances that could leave me stammering and fumbling in the dark more than my blindness had.

However, on the night of August 2, 2002, a tiny, but massive giant marched upon my village and crushed the hut I was so comfortably living in. Without any detectable warning, the unforgiving giant traveled through my mother’s veins up to her brain and reeked havoc on a woman that was thought of as a saint by so many. On That unforgettable Friday night, a blood clot the size of a tiny pencil lead suffocated a major portion of my mother’s brain. She suffered a massive stroke . And there is no doubt that stroke changed the course of her life, as well as the lives of her daughters.

The night of August 2, 2002, I began to learn that a stroke was much more than a blood clot that attacks the brain. Over the last 8 years, I've learned that tiny clot not only kills brain cells, it kills and disables the family structure, stability, and direction.

**To be continued…**

(Update on the new millennia thing… I found out that there is a debate when the new millennia actually began. So, I’m on to an idea that’s already up in the air. So, for the record, it is unclear if 2010 or 2011 was the beginning of the new decade. But far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t really matter. I’m just glad for the new year.)

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Happy New Year!!!!!

I'd like to wish all of my readers a Happy New Year!!!!!

I hope that this year brings you great success and triumph!!!!!

Stay tuned for my 2010 reflections and my 2011 goals. I'll post them within the next few days. It's going to be good!!!!

Love and peace to you!

Angela L. Braden