Friday, August 06, 2010

This Truly Doesn't Happen Often

When I have an awful experience, I quickly try to search through the rubble and find whatever life lesson that may have come along with the bad experience. Then I try to lock the negative memory away in the dungeon of my ever-expansive castle of personal memories. I'm not a person that likes to relive the experience by thinking about the memory over and over again. So, because I can't forever get rid of the memory, I try to lock it away and handcuff it to a part of my brain that is seldom visited. Last week, I had one of those experiences that created a memory that will for sure get stored in that cold, dark dungeon in my head.

Unfortunately, I can't go into detail here on my blog. What I witnessed is now a legal issue. Perhaps once it's resolved, I will write about it in detail. But until then, I will say that it was perhaps one of the most horrific experiences of my 30+ years.

The memory of this experience is so strong. All of my available senses participated in capturing this event. The only thing that stopped me from fully experiencing the heinous moment was my blindness. Because I could not see, I've been spared of having a visual memory of this experience.

Thank God!

I never would've thought I would've said that.

Here's what's interesting. Because I'm the one that couldn't see the various parts of the ordeal, I'm the one that focuses on all of the other vivid experiences that were perceived with the other four senses. I remember the hideous smell in the hot, moist air. I remember the needle poking pain of the tiny ants biting my feet as we stood in the soggy grass. I remember the taste of my tears and sweat as they rolled down my face to the corners of my mouth. I remember all the sounds that circled us as we stood, trapped in the middle of this mind blowing experience.

Everyone else in my family mostly speaks of what they saw. I'm haunted by what I heard, tasted, felt, and smelled. And unfortunately, the memory is still so fresh.

I'm so glad that these blind eyes of mine benefited me that day by making it impossible to have a visual memory of July 28, 2010.
**applauding for the broken eyes**
My blind eyes did me a favor this one time.



To read more entries from Angela's personal diary, feel free to visit her award winning blog!

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