Thursday, June 22, 2006

Live!

People are often shocked by my persistence to live a life of independence. It’s not that I’m so determined to be “independent.” I just can’ imagine doing anything less than what I do now. I guess people really believe that blindness should be my pass to get out of having to be responsible, almost like a “get out of jail free card.” But I don’t see it that way. Well, I don’t anymore…

When I first started college, I was so depressed about my blindness. I really did believe that God would have healed me by the time I got to college. I prayed the prayers of faith, splashed myself with bless oil, stood in dozens of prayer lines, fasted/starved myself, and outright rebuked Satan. But to no avail, I was still blind. And worst than that, I lost all of my sight the year before I started college.

(We’ll talk about all of that later. Just to issue this little disclaimer now… I still do believe in divine healing. Don’t worry…)

I never imagined that I would have to be blind at college. So, I plunged into an abyss of sorrow and hopelessness. I stayed in the bed and refused to go to class for a couple of months.

After eight weeks, I realized something… As each hour, day, week, and month rolled by, life was still going on. Life didn’t pause until I was ready to participate in it. I made a decision to get up out of the bed, get myself together, go to class, and make the best of this ridiculous thing that happened to my life. (Losing my sight is the thing that happened to my life.)

I still failed the entire semester. I had 2 F’s and an Incomplete. But that’s alright though. I didn’t give up. I returned back to school and did the dog on thing. It doesn’t matter how you start… It matters how you finish. I graduated with numerous honors.

Don’t let the circumstances of life retard your growth, progress, or happiness. Depression is a serious thing, and it sometimes seems too heavy to lift. But don’t let depression cloud your vision for your life. Life may not be at all what you hoped and planned for. But you are still here. It’s your responsibility, not anyone else’s, to make your life the best it can be. So, live! Existing is not good enough…

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