Saturday, April 05, 2008

Can't String Them Together

In the last week or so, I’ve had a real desire to post on my blog. I have stories I want to tell, and opinions I wish to share with my readers. But I’m drained, emotionally and physically. Getting up at 5:00 in the morning, submitting to the hour commute to my job, dealing with the many, many issues on my job, getting back on the road to commute to my house, and to finally get home to be forced to listen to the noise of my family’s constant drama has left me exhausted on many levels.

I’ve even been troubled with headaches in the last few days, so much, that I’ve been taking Advil to manage the pain. I’ve even thought about making a doctor’s appointment. These headaches remind me of the headaches I used to have when I had high blood pressure. (God, I hope that’s not the case.)

I’ve sat down at my computer to write a post a few times each night, but can’t manage to string the words together to write something that makes sense. Again, I have stories to tell, but my stress has made it difficult to write. I’m not like other people that I know, who write to distress. I write to give, to share, to inspire. I guess that’s why posting on my blog has felt like yet another chore, another responsibility, another thing to feel like I need to do and do well.

I’ve decided to shift my thinking a little. As long as I see writing as a chore and not something that’s enjoyable and relaxing to me, I will always run from it when my stress gets too high. The same for getting on my elliptical machine in my room... If I look at exercising as a way to distress, then it is likely that I will run to my work-out machine when I am stressed, rather than running from it when I feel overwhelmed.

Tomorrow, I will push past my stress and anxiety and start posting. I told Miko that I want to make a commitment to post twice a week. I think it would be good for me. I need the verbal exercise.

I guess I need the physical exercise too. In the morning, I will hit that machine as well.

Here’s to the task of distressing,


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