Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It Takes a Strong Man...

A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a brotha that I've been knowing for nearly fifteen years. In this conversation, he announced to me that he and his girlfriend had decided to go ahead and tie the knot. After hearing his good news, I got to wondering if I was ever going to be able to give someone that same news. But the truth is: If my prospects continue to look the way they've looked up until this point, the only knot I'll get to tie is possibly in my tennish shoes.

I asked my friend, being that he is a highly opinionated lover of the opposite sex, why did he think that I continued to not have any viable prospects from year to year. Well, he began to break down what I've always known to be true, but hoped that it was just my imagination.

He told me most men do not want to date and/or marry a woman with a disability, no matter how cute she is. And he went on to say that the strong brothas, who are secure, responsible, and caring, would be at the top of the food chain. He said that strong brothas like that have the pick of the crop. And if they can pick whatever they want, they are going to pick the one that has the least amount of drama and issues.

My heart was kind of saddened by this. I already know that it's going to take a strong man to be okay with having a blind girlfriend. But I was hoping that instead of that man going for the easier situation, he would step up to the plate and come for me, especially if he and I were meant to be connected in that way.

Will I get a chance to tie that knot one day? I guess only time will tell.

2 comments:

Nicole said...

I guess too it comes back to the fact that the mating game is influenced by how society is....... a market economy. So a disabled woman can be seen as damaged goods because for us, am y times, love is not about what we can give but what we can get. For me the truly strong brotha is one that defines love and that and lives by it. So that if he loves you and really wants to husband you then having a disability is something that he will learn to live with. Because at the end of the day, no one is perfect and we all will need more than a little grace to live with each other as marrieds.

Angela L. Braden, Writer, Speaker, Professor said...

Thanks for the encouragement. But it's all good.
Yeah, I would like to get married. But if I don't, I'll live.
However, a sistah could use someone to go on a few vacations with...
Peace,
A