Monday, June 01, 2009

The Prayers of a Blind Aunt

Last night, my sister informed me that my youngest niece's eye is swollen and it has mucus leaking from it. She said the doctors wanted to know more about my eye condition.

My heart shook at the very notion that the baby could possibly have an eye condition that could impact her sight. And it even more shook me up that her undiagnosed eye problem somehow drew a line back to me, her blind aunt.

The doctors want to know more about me and the dreadful disease that brutally stole my sight, and later my left eye. I guess they are trying to make sure that this baby doesn't become a victim of what overtook me in my younger years.

I always dream about what I would like to give my nieces and nephew as they grow older. But I am sickened at the idea that any child that is connected to me may get what I got. I somehow would feel responsible, like I gave it to them. And I'm not sure how I could live with doctors always pointing their fingers at me, as if my blindness dripped from me to one of the kids.

Yeah, I know... This makes no sense. I'm not the parent. I'm the aunt! But in a strange, ridiculous way, I would feel responsible. I would feel like I gave the kids that problem.

I'm praying for my 2.7 pound niece to continue on the track of growth and healing. But in the last few hours, I've specifically prayed for her eyes to heal and return to God's original design. And I must admit that my prayer for her eyes to get better is partially for selfish reasons. I want her to get better for herself, and so that I won't have to deal with all the emotions that will come if she does indeed have the eye disease that has taken up residence in my brown eyes.

**God bless Elyssa Adriana Perez. May God's healing power flow into her tiny body. May she continue to develop into the healthy, loving baby we all hope she will be. God, touch her lungs, eyes, and heart. You know the problem and the solution. She's in Your capable and loving hands. Amen.**


Heber Brown, III said...

Very heartfelt and honest post. I remember when my son was yet to be born and the doctors were saying all sorts of things to scare the breath out of my wife and I. I felt so helpless and that's not an easy feeling for someone who likes to have some sense of control over my environment. However, I learned more about faith and prayer in those 9 months than I ever had sitting in anybody's bible study or seminary classroom. I join you in prayer for your niece trusting that the Sovereign God who dwells among us is yet and still able. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Becky said...

My prayers go out to her and you as well. Having retinitis pigmentosa -I can relate so much. Thanks for sharing your heart and love.

sacredly breathing said...

My prayerful meditations go out to you, your niece and all beings going through distress. And for all people experiencing joy i meditate for more joy to arise.