Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Naked and Okay

A few days ago, Heather, one of my closest and dearest friends, told me that she visited my blog and checked out some of my posts. Although I was kind of glad that she got a chance to read it, especially since the blog is so close to my heart, I was a little nervous about what she would think of it. I sighed with relief when she told me that she actually liked it. (Heather really should have been a English major in college. She is a critic of words. **wink** So, her approval means a lot.)

In the last two years, most of my readers have been people that I do not know. They come here, read about my life, my experiences, and my perspective on disability related issues; and from time to time they leave a very thoughtful comment in response to my posts. But lately, friends, such as Miko, Randy, and Heather, all folks that I hold close to my heart, have found my blog and have demonstrated that they will continue to read. By the way, Miko and Randy are word critics too.

How do I feel about that? How do I feel about people that I actually have a meaningful relationship visiting my blog?

Actually, I'm cool with it. I'm a pretty open, transparent woman. I don't hide behind masks, and I very seldom cloak my emotions with false expressions. So, pretty much anyone that knows me, knows me. Know what I mean?

And for the most part, those who read my blog, friends, strangers, perhaps an enemy or two, will find the true me, my honest thoughts, and my unveiled emotions. I feel that's the best that I can offer to anyone. Honesty, openness, and truth... It doesn't get better than that.

So often, people misrepresent themselves, hide behind colorfully constructed masks, and deliberately deceive others only because they for whatever reason have decided that revealing the "real" them may unleash results that they are not ready to deal with. But I've decided to have courage, to stand up, and to not apologize for who I am.

I am Angie. And I'm not hiding, shrinking, or apologizing for who I am. I am who I am. And guess what... That's okay.

But don't get it twisted though... Learning to be yourself and being okay with it is not a free pass to be a under-achieving you, a mediocre you, a rude you, a jacked up you. Because we all need/must continue to work on our development into the women and men that we were designed to be.

What I'm saying is that we, all of us, need to stop frontin', fraudin', perpetrating, faking, masking, hiding, covering up, and living in the closet. However, we need to continue to improve, to elevate, to educate, to inform, to positively construct, to develop, to heal, to empower ourselves. It's a must.

Starting this blog was a coming out of sorts. And that's what I do every day when I post a entry here. I'm coming out. Telling everyone more about who I really am. I'm also working on me, each and every time I post an entry.

So, here I am, in all of my naked glory. Enjoy!

3 comments:

Rich said...

I had to come to those same terms about my blog, especially when my creativity lends itself to issues I'm going through.

Penny L. Richards said...

I think it keeps me honest to write under my own name and know that my friends (and even MY MOM) read what I write. I don't censor myself, but I do think more about what I write, and that's a good thing.

Chi-Chi said...

Excellent post Angie. Yeah, I shared that I blog with a few folks I know IRL and then I got nervous until I realized that hey, Chi-Chi is Chi-Chi and I don't flip and flop or change. What you see is what you get.

You said, "Learning to be yourself and being okay with it is not a free pass to be a under-achieving you, a mediocre you, a rude you, a jacked up you. Because we all need/must continue to work on our development into the women and men that we were designed to be." So true, so true.

LoL . . . I am enjoying your blog thoroughly. I am so happy you didn't quit when you wanted to.