Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Midnight Betrayal

Every since I was a teenager, the midnight hours were the time I felt the pressures of life lift. The stillness of the night would ignite my creativity, provoke relaxation, and prompt major introspection. But in the last few years, that's when all the pressures of my life seem to find me and weigh me down the most. My thoughts are marching and sometimes racing through my head. My creativity is stifled and disconnected. And sleep is... Well, I don't know what sleep is. Even when I do fall asleep, I'm accosted by my thoughts in the form of high activity dream schemes. I wonder what the cause of this flip flop is.

Part of the problem is my family. For some reason, my sister, who is staying with us because she's unemployed, does not sleep at night. She stays up and watches television all night. The sound of the television gets on my nerves. The voices from the television competes with the voices of the characters for the book and plays I'm writing. And not only does my sister stay up all night, my mother is also invading my late night hours. She stays up half the night, watching westerns or the sci-fi channel. She even decides to do housework at three o'clock in the morning.

I wish they would go to bed and leave me with that time to myself. They have truly taken away from why night time was so special to me. In the past, the night time hours were the time I would use to be by myself. I would often use that time to study, write, or read. I wouldn't even listen to music or watch television. I was glad enough to be with my thoughts or the power of creativity.

I got to figure out a way to get my night time hours back. Whether I’m using the night time for conscious relaxation, sessions of creativity, or blissful sleep doesn’t make any difference to me. I just need my friends, the moon and the stars, to romance me again.