Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Some of the Reasons I Hate Being Blind

1. I hate having limited options. Being blind restricts my mobility too much. Which leads me to no. 2.
2. I hate not being able to drive.
3. I hate not being able to look up into the sky and see the ornaments that God has decorated the sky with. I miss so badly seeing the stars, moon, and even the hot Texas sun.
4. I hate not being able to look in the mirror and see myself. It really bugs the daylights out of me that I don't know what 30-year-old Angela looks like. It seems that I just can't push pass that restriction. I'm completely annoyed by it.
5. I hate I can't see the new additions of my family. It's like this... I can imagine how my sisters, parents, cousins, and certain friends look like, mainly because I still have the picture of them in my head from when I could see. But I have no earthly idea what my nieces and my nephew look like. I pretty sure they're cute. But I don't really have a clear cut idea what exactly they look like. I have an image that I created. And although I'm pretty good at knowing how people that I've never seen look like, sometimes the description that I have is off from the truth.
6. Again, I hate limited options. Let me revisit that, but with specificity. I hate that I cannot really pick and choose the kind of career I want and where I want to work. That gets under my skin. It's actually depressing.
7. I hate not being able to shop by myself.
8. I hate that I can't see nature. I used to love looking at grass, flowers, trees, birds, insects, and any and everything that was apart of the natural environment. I really miss that.
9. I hate I can't do some home improvement things myself. I come from a line of women that have a "do it yourself" mentality. I know if I could see, I would paint, put up my own blinds and curtains, clean the carpet, and so on.
10. I hate that I can't be my own woman all the time. I hate that I have to go sighted guide with people. I hate that people have to drive me. I hate that I have to have someone with me to go to certain events. I just wish I could roll all by myself sometimes, without having to be bothered with anyone.

****
Yes, I know that this post was a little more negative than my typical posts. But I just needed to vent. I've been feeling real ticked off about a couple of the things on the above list in the last week. So, I just needed to get it out of my head. And. It's way too crowded in there for me to hold on to those thoughts.

Well, have a good day. I'll try to do the same.

Angie Braden

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

i realy realy realy realy think your an AWESOME person...oh god im crying.....serioussly

Holly said...

I am blind, and i'm 15. I hate it so much, the thought of growing up absolutely scares me. I feel like i'll never get a boyfriend who will like me because of who i am. People automaticaly dismiss me because of what i am before they even talk to me.

rfn112390 said...

Holly--I'm sure you're a beautiful person, probably both physically and emotionally, and when you find someone who is worth your time, your condition wouldn't matter anything to them, they will love, listrn to and appreciate you for who you are. There are guys in the world like that. I'm one of them.

Anonymous said...

Well, I hate that I found this post when I was looking for something positive to get me through my day. I have a blind son.

Anonymous said...

I'm 34 and have 3 kids and a wife. My vision has been decreasing over the years and I hate it as much as anyone else. I would much rather be dead because there is nothing joyful about being ignored and judged by the white stick I carry.

Anonymous said...

I have been married 30 years. Love, marriage, children - you can have all of it. You will adapt, improvise and overcome a number of issues that no sighted person will ever truly understand. But your spouse will try to understand.

As far as being dismissed as inconsequential -- I stronglyburge you to continue your education. From personal experiencec I can tell you a PhD makes a big difference in how you are treated.

Trust me, as hardcas it is, and as hard it will continue to be, you have tools to make your life wonderful...

Anonymous said...

I too was looking for something positive with no luck here! I am raising a blind daughter who is 6 yrs old and she just told me she hates being blind. I pray for the right words to say that will lift her spirits and help her make the most of life.