Monday, October 22, 2007

Will it ever come to an end?

Although I am completely aware that I don't look my best when I'm being negative, I often find myself with my negative baseball cap on without even knowing when or where I slipped it on my head. But
as soon as I notice that I'm being negative, complaining, having a pity party, I take the hat and sling it far away, as far as I can toss it.

There was a time that having a pity party was okay. I justified it. Hell, I onc thought that I was going through enough crap to have all the pity parties I wanted to have. But thankfully, I got to place in my life that I didn't want to be a party girl anymore. I popped the baloons, vacuumed the confetti, blew out the 666 candles, and garbage disposed the flavorless cake. Pity partying just ain't my style no more. I'm much better when I'm smiling, laughing, and beaming. Don't you think?

Well, that brings me to this post. Something happened to me this weekend that in the past would have caused me to be angry as hell or sent me to my closet to pull out all of my pity party decorations.

This weekend, I had to go to Dallas for a wedding. Well, I waited too late to purchase my airline ticket; so the flights were way to high. I will never pay $250 to fly to Dallas if I can help it. And this weekend I could help it. I got on Priceline and rented a car, reserved me a room, and commissioned my sister, Frances, to drive me to Dallas early Saturday morning.

Well, when we arrived at the rental car place, I explained to the lady that I was renting the car, but I happened to be blind. I explained to her that my sister would be driving the vehicle. My sister said that the lady looked at her and then proceeded to do the hand signals that used to annoy me so much. She said the lady pointed at me, then covered her eyes, pointed back at me, and then mouthed, "She's blind."

Now, why was all that necessary? In fact, why is it ever necessary?

First of all, I already told the woman I couldn't see. Did she not believe me? She must did, she started talking in sign language to my sister as if she didn't expect me to see it. So, what was the point in taking those silly steps to confirm the info?

And for all the other people that often signal to my folks and ask them am I blind... Why do you do that? If you want to know, just open your mouth and ask. It's even more offensive when I hear you whispering to my people as if I'm can't hear. It's even more offensive when you think that I'm some kind of nothing, a nothing person that doesn't deserve you respecting me by not "talking about me behind my back." Because that's how it feels. It's in my face. But not really.

When Frances told me what the woman did, I started to get all mad and thangs. But this time, I decided to cut off the anger and shake my head at the idea of this woman doing that. There is no point in me wasting my good emotions on someone and something that doesn't deserve the energy. Plus, I would much rather keep my negativity hat off my hed these days. I'm much cuter when I have the positive hat on.

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