YIPEE! I WON THE SCHOLARSHIP!!!
I got great news tonight. I won one of the scholarships from ACB. I’m so honored. Plus, I’m looking forward to going to Florida in July. I need to get away so bad. I need a different experience, different scenery, and different people. Plus, some extra green always makes a sister feel pretty good.
The coolest thing about this is that I will be in Florida the week of my birthday. I’m going to live it up and really enjoy myself. The day of my birthday, I might come up missing from the conference and go to the coast all day and just lie out on the beach. That sounds great! I’m making a commitment right now that I’m going to have so much fun.
Thank you Lord for this scholarship, the paid trip to Jacksonville, and the opportunity to meet some extraordinary folks at the conference. I don’t care what they say about you, you are an awesome God!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
MY FRIEND, CHAD, LIKES TO CALL IT A “PARADIGMATIC METAMORPHOSIS.” I THINK IT’S A BIT MUCH, BUT I’LL SETTLE FOR THAT.
This week, I was interviewed by the scholarship committee for the American Council for the Blind. According to one of the committee members, I am one of the top candidates for their annual scholarship program. I was so excited; and not because of the obvious perk of possibly getting the scholarship. The money… I was excited that anyone thought enough of me to think that I deserved to be honored. And most of all, I was excited to be considered to be a prospective scholarship recipient by a group of courageous, overcoming, leaders in the blind community.
To tell you the truth, that’s a major paradigm shift for me. In the past, I really didn’t care to embrace or to be embraced by the blind community. But now that I am mature and able to understand that being blind is not the end of the world, I can readily grasp the importance of aligning myself with other people that are on the same path that I’m on. The path to independence, freedom, liberation, respect, self sufficiency, love, respect, and autonomy...
Hating blindness caused me to somewhat hate my life and hate anything that had to do with being blind. Because the organizations that serve the blind (AFB, ACB, and NFB) do not look at blindness as being a curse or the worst thing that could happen to a person, I sincerely thought the people that were apart of them were out of their minds. So, I didn’t want to have anything to do with the organizations. Celebrating being black and being a woman was cool to me. But celebrating blindness was outright idiotic.
Now, I’m finally at a place that I understand that they were not celebrating blindness per say. These organizations are celebrating the accomplishments, the potential, the courage, the faith, the determination, the stamina, the insistence, and the patience that people who are blind have, despite being blind. When you know what I know about blindness, you realize that when a person has enough courage to rise above blindness, it’s a beautiful, magnificent thing.
(I feel like shouting right about now! What a mighty God I serve! A God that can make darkness turn into light. A God that can give you solace in the darkest hours of your life.)
I made a commitment to join the American Council for the Blind. I know it’s time for me to be apart of this great organization. Plus, my greater understanding of disability and the effects of disability really motivates me to get behind any person, group, or program that’s demanding better access to housing, employment, and technology for the blind. I have a lot of work to do. And I’m ready to get to working.
One way or the other, I’ll let you know if I was offered the scholarship. If I get it, I have to go to Jacksonville, Florida to accept the award. I’m looking forward to the money, the trip, and the fellowship with other people that are blind. Wish me luck.
This week, I was interviewed by the scholarship committee for the American Council for the Blind. According to one of the committee members, I am one of the top candidates for their annual scholarship program. I was so excited; and not because of the obvious perk of possibly getting the scholarship. The money… I was excited that anyone thought enough of me to think that I deserved to be honored. And most of all, I was excited to be considered to be a prospective scholarship recipient by a group of courageous, overcoming, leaders in the blind community.
To tell you the truth, that’s a major paradigm shift for me. In the past, I really didn’t care to embrace or to be embraced by the blind community. But now that I am mature and able to understand that being blind is not the end of the world, I can readily grasp the importance of aligning myself with other people that are on the same path that I’m on. The path to independence, freedom, liberation, respect, self sufficiency, love, respect, and autonomy...
Hating blindness caused me to somewhat hate my life and hate anything that had to do with being blind. Because the organizations that serve the blind (AFB, ACB, and NFB) do not look at blindness as being a curse or the worst thing that could happen to a person, I sincerely thought the people that were apart of them were out of their minds. So, I didn’t want to have anything to do with the organizations. Celebrating being black and being a woman was cool to me. But celebrating blindness was outright idiotic.
Now, I’m finally at a place that I understand that they were not celebrating blindness per say. These organizations are celebrating the accomplishments, the potential, the courage, the faith, the determination, the stamina, the insistence, and the patience that people who are blind have, despite being blind. When you know what I know about blindness, you realize that when a person has enough courage to rise above blindness, it’s a beautiful, magnificent thing.
(I feel like shouting right about now! What a mighty God I serve! A God that can make darkness turn into light. A God that can give you solace in the darkest hours of your life.)
I made a commitment to join the American Council for the Blind. I know it’s time for me to be apart of this great organization. Plus, my greater understanding of disability and the effects of disability really motivates me to get behind any person, group, or program that’s demanding better access to housing, employment, and technology for the blind. I have a lot of work to do. And I’m ready to get to working.
One way or the other, I’ll let you know if I was offered the scholarship. If I get it, I have to go to Jacksonville, Florida to accept the award. I’m looking forward to the money, the trip, and the fellowship with other people that are blind. Wish me luck.
Monday, May 08, 2006
The Fountain of Youth
Like most women, I’m concerned about aging. Well, I’m not concerned about getting older per say. I’m concerned about looking older. I’ve already started coloring my hair to disguise the gray strands of hair that my younger sisters are so quick to point out on my head. My left knee sometimes hurts when I’m working out. And hanging out at the mall for a few hours produces an extremely tired woman. I don’t feel like a grandma or nothing like that. I just know for sure that I am not 21 anymore.
The biggest thing that concerns me about looking older is my inability to know if I really am “looking older.” I’m not stupid enough to believe that I look like an 18-year-old. I just don’t know how much older I really look. The last time I actually saw myself, I was 16-years-old. And even then, my vision was pretty blurry. So, the last time I really saw my self, with the help of pretty good eye sight, I was 11 or 12 years old. Of course I don’t picture myself to look like an 11 or 12 year old. I imagine that I look like what that 11 or 12 year old would have grown into. And that’s pretty good looking, I might add.
Truthfully, I really wonder what makes a 31-year-old Angela look different from a 21-year-old Angela. Since I’ve managed to dip my 10 or 15 strands of gray hair in the ocean of forever brown, I know it’s not the gray hair. So, what is it? What is it about me that says WOMAN? Do I look older than what I imagine? Even though it’s not likely, do I look younger than what I imagine?
Well, I discussed this very subject with one of my best friends. She advised me to not worry about it. She said that being blind prevents me from getting the news that so many women are forced to receive when they look into the mirror. She also said that because I haven’t seen myself in so many odd years, I have the advantage of not really aging. My very clever friend suggested that in my mind, I will forever look young. Interestingly enough, that’s probably true. I can’t even come up with an image of how I may look at 40. So, I have decided that I’m going to just freeze this current image of myself in my mental photobook. While other women are stressing over the gifts that the “age fairy” is bringing them, I will forever be a young, beautiful gal.
The biggest thing that concerns me about looking older is my inability to know if I really am “looking older.” I’m not stupid enough to believe that I look like an 18-year-old. I just don’t know how much older I really look. The last time I actually saw myself, I was 16-years-old. And even then, my vision was pretty blurry. So, the last time I really saw my self, with the help of pretty good eye sight, I was 11 or 12 years old. Of course I don’t picture myself to look like an 11 or 12 year old. I imagine that I look like what that 11 or 12 year old would have grown into. And that’s pretty good looking, I might add.
Truthfully, I really wonder what makes a 31-year-old Angela look different from a 21-year-old Angela. Since I’ve managed to dip my 10 or 15 strands of gray hair in the ocean of forever brown, I know it’s not the gray hair. So, what is it? What is it about me that says WOMAN? Do I look older than what I imagine? Even though it’s not likely, do I look younger than what I imagine?
Well, I discussed this very subject with one of my best friends. She advised me to not worry about it. She said that being blind prevents me from getting the news that so many women are forced to receive when they look into the mirror. She also said that because I haven’t seen myself in so many odd years, I have the advantage of not really aging. My very clever friend suggested that in my mind, I will forever look young. Interestingly enough, that’s probably true. I can’t even come up with an image of how I may look at 40. So, I have decided that I’m going to just freeze this current image of myself in my mental photobook. While other women are stressing over the gifts that the “age fairy” is bringing them, I will forever be a young, beautiful gal.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
High Blood Pressure (Hypertension) and African Americans
What is High Blood Pressure?
Blood pressure normally rises and falls. When the blood pressure is elevated over time, it is called high blood pressure. Any person can develop hypertension, which is the technical term for high blood pressure. Blood pressure measures the force of the blood flowing through your blood vessels when the heart contracts to pump blood and when the heart rests between beats. In people with hypertension, the tension within the blood vessels is greater, which makes the heart work harder.
Hypertension has been called the "silent killer" because it can cause damage to many body organs without any symptoms. Uncontrolled high blood pressure can cause a heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, vision problems and even death.
Statistics
African Americans, and people of African descent in the United Kingdom, have among the highest rates of hypertension of any race or ethnic type in the world.
• 35% of African Americans have hypertension, which accounts for 20% of the African American deaths in the United States - twice the percentage of deaths among whites from hypertension.
• Compared with whites, hypertension develops earlier in life and average blood pressures are much higher in African Americans.
• African Americans with high blood pressure have an 80% higher chance of dying from a stroke than in the general population.
• African Americans with high blood pressure have a 20% higher chance of developing heart disease than in the general population.
• African Americans with high blood pressure have a 4 times greater risk of developing hypertension related end stage kidney disease than the general population.
www.netwellness.org
What is High Blood Pressure?
Blood pressure normally rises and falls. When the blood pressure is elevated over time, it is called high blood pressure. Any person can develop hypertension, which is the technical term for high blood pressure. Blood pressure measures the force of the blood flowing through your blood vessels when the heart contracts to pump blood and when the heart rests between beats. In people with hypertension, the tension within the blood vessels is greater, which makes the heart work harder.
Hypertension has been called the "silent killer" because it can cause damage to many body organs without any symptoms. Uncontrolled high blood pressure can cause a heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, vision problems and even death.
Statistics
African Americans, and people of African descent in the United Kingdom, have among the highest rates of hypertension of any race or ethnic type in the world.
• 35% of African Americans have hypertension, which accounts for 20% of the African American deaths in the United States - twice the percentage of deaths among whites from hypertension.
• Compared with whites, hypertension develops earlier in life and average blood pressures are much higher in African Americans.
• African Americans with high blood pressure have an 80% higher chance of dying from a stroke than in the general population.
• African Americans with high blood pressure have a 20% higher chance of developing heart disease than in the general population.
• African Americans with high blood pressure have a 4 times greater risk of developing hypertension related end stage kidney disease than the general population.
www.netwellness.org
Victim of Procrastination
Okay… After deciding to start the blogger’s marathon, I’ve already strayed off my path. I would like to blame it on school. But getting my masters is not as hard and does not take up all of my time, like I would like for folks to believe. So, even though I have to turn in a couple of papers to end this semester of grad school, I would be lying if I said that end of the year school work was preventing me from posting to my blog. Schoolwork only takes a small fraction of my time.
To tell you the truth, I am a procrastinator. Don’t tell anyone though. That will be our little secret. I’m a dang good procrastinator. Meaning, I am able to do most of what I do at the last minute, and it looks like I’ve spent a great deal of time and thought on it. But I’ve made a decision to abandon the procrastination. It’s mentally exhausting to do everything in emergency mode. So, I declare that from this day forward that I, Angela L. Braden, will strip off my procrastinator clothes and robe myself with responsibility, good stewardship, and effective time management. That’s quite a mouth full. But I’m going to try. But wait a minute. I can’t say that I’m going to try. I often tell my sisters when they tell me that they are going to “try”, “Trying is not good enough. Just do it.” Well, I guess I should take some of my good advice.
So, for now on, I will adhere to my editorial/blog schedule. Monday: Disability/Blind Issues, Thursday: Social Issues, Friday: African American Health Issues
I’m back in the blogger’s marathon.
Okay… After deciding to start the blogger’s marathon, I’ve already strayed off my path. I would like to blame it on school. But getting my masters is not as hard and does not take up all of my time, like I would like for folks to believe. So, even though I have to turn in a couple of papers to end this semester of grad school, I would be lying if I said that end of the year school work was preventing me from posting to my blog. Schoolwork only takes a small fraction of my time.
To tell you the truth, I am a procrastinator. Don’t tell anyone though. That will be our little secret. I’m a dang good procrastinator. Meaning, I am able to do most of what I do at the last minute, and it looks like I’ve spent a great deal of time and thought on it. But I’ve made a decision to abandon the procrastination. It’s mentally exhausting to do everything in emergency mode. So, I declare that from this day forward that I, Angela L. Braden, will strip off my procrastinator clothes and robe myself with responsibility, good stewardship, and effective time management. That’s quite a mouth full. But I’m going to try. But wait a minute. I can’t say that I’m going to try. I often tell my sisters when they tell me that they are going to “try”, “Trying is not good enough. Just do it.” Well, I guess I should take some of my good advice.
So, for now on, I will adhere to my editorial/blog schedule. Monday: Disability/Blind Issues, Thursday: Social Issues, Friday: African American Health Issues
I’m back in the blogger’s marathon.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Up and Down
One thing that has been consistent in my life is my inconsistent emotions. One minute, I’m convinced I can do anything I put my mind to. And the next minute, I absolutely hate my life. It’s the barriers. I don’t really mind barriers, especially when I have enough strength to leap over, knock down, or dismantle it brick by brick. I just mind it when I cannot figure out how to get pass the barrier. I have to say that lately I have felt like the barriers are closing in on me.
I’m pretty sick of the fact that I cannot find employment. And I’m not being choosy like my other college educated friends. I will work almost anywhere. (The local strip club is out of the question.) For instance, I would go and work retail in the mall, be a waitress, clean up the hotels. But all of those things require sight. The truth is that my sight really does lock me out of a lot of opportunities. No matter how much I parade around and say that my blindness is not a big deal, and that I can do whatever sighted people do, the truth stands up and screams, “Blindness has limited you!”
I’ve considered and tried to start my own business. At this point, I pretty convinced that entrepreneurship is going to be my saving grace. If prospective employers don’t believe in me and my abilities, I believe in me.
I believe I’m smart.
I believe that I am beautiful.
I believe that I am gifted.
I believe that I am able to make an impact on anyone or anything I come in contact with.
I believe that I have what it takes to change the world.
I believe that my abilities out weigh my disabilities.
I believe that anyone or anything that passes on me is missing out on one of the best things that could have happened in their lifetime.
I really do believe all of that. I just get frustrated when I can’t get others, mainly employers, decision makers, or even a fine man, to see that. (One day, when I have enough energy, I’ll blog about the social aspects of disability.) I know I shouldn’t spend so much time wanting and hoping for outside validation. But when my bank account is affected by not being validated by others, it’s a problem. More than not being validated, I hate being broke. Really to tell you the truth; blindness is not what really gets under my skin. Brokeness makes me sicker than sick.
Before I start dwelling on money, let me end this on a positive note.
No matter what my circumstances say, I know that my life is a priceless jewel. I know that I have something to offer to the world. I know that one day I will be able to share that with the world.
Pray for me as I start my journey to be a professional speaker and writer. Pray that the things that I am going through do not distract me from following God’s plan. Pray that these things that I am growing through enhance my speeches, essays, poetry, and articles.
(I was supposed to have posted this on Disability Monday. Forgive me.)
One thing that has been consistent in my life is my inconsistent emotions. One minute, I’m convinced I can do anything I put my mind to. And the next minute, I absolutely hate my life. It’s the barriers. I don’t really mind barriers, especially when I have enough strength to leap over, knock down, or dismantle it brick by brick. I just mind it when I cannot figure out how to get pass the barrier. I have to say that lately I have felt like the barriers are closing in on me.
I’m pretty sick of the fact that I cannot find employment. And I’m not being choosy like my other college educated friends. I will work almost anywhere. (The local strip club is out of the question.) For instance, I would go and work retail in the mall, be a waitress, clean up the hotels. But all of those things require sight. The truth is that my sight really does lock me out of a lot of opportunities. No matter how much I parade around and say that my blindness is not a big deal, and that I can do whatever sighted people do, the truth stands up and screams, “Blindness has limited you!”
I’ve considered and tried to start my own business. At this point, I pretty convinced that entrepreneurship is going to be my saving grace. If prospective employers don’t believe in me and my abilities, I believe in me.
I believe I’m smart.
I believe that I am beautiful.
I believe that I am gifted.
I believe that I am able to make an impact on anyone or anything I come in contact with.
I believe that I have what it takes to change the world.
I believe that my abilities out weigh my disabilities.
I believe that anyone or anything that passes on me is missing out on one of the best things that could have happened in their lifetime.
I really do believe all of that. I just get frustrated when I can’t get others, mainly employers, decision makers, or even a fine man, to see that. (One day, when I have enough energy, I’ll blog about the social aspects of disability.) I know I shouldn’t spend so much time wanting and hoping for outside validation. But when my bank account is affected by not being validated by others, it’s a problem. More than not being validated, I hate being broke. Really to tell you the truth; blindness is not what really gets under my skin. Brokeness makes me sicker than sick.
Before I start dwelling on money, let me end this on a positive note.
No matter what my circumstances say, I know that my life is a priceless jewel. I know that I have something to offer to the world. I know that one day I will be able to share that with the world.
Pray for me as I start my journey to be a professional speaker and writer. Pray that the things that I am going through do not distract me from following God’s plan. Pray that these things that I am growing through enhance my speeches, essays, poetry, and articles.
(I was supposed to have posted this on Disability Monday. Forgive me.)
Friday, April 28, 2006
BLOGGING WITH A PURPOSE
The one thing that prevented me from developing my own blog in the past was my unwillingness to start any journey without a clear destination in mind. I knew I wanted my own outlet to express myself. But I didn’t want my blog to be rambled expressions of whatever popped in my mind and whatever I was inspired to scribble my opinion about. I wanted my blog to have real purpose, to be strategic, to liberate, and to penetrate. I pray that I accomplish that with this blog.
Now that I am here, present on the World Wide Web, I must get organized. Being that I am a person that has many layers, experiences, and interests, I foresee that my entries will often times not be related to one another. So, for the sake of organization and clarity, I have developed a schedule in which I will adhere to. Hopefully, that will help you and I understand what’s going on, at least when it comes to my blog.
Each Monday, I will post entries that discuss disability issues. My friend asked me to disclose my experiences as a blind person in America. I must say, I really did not want to specifically focus on my experiences. But I will use my experiences to help explain or converse about some of the many barriers that people with disabilities must knock down, leap over, dismantle brick by brick, or dream about not really being there. I am mainly concerned about employment issues, the social aspects of disability, societal prejudices regarding disability, and accessible technology.
(Disclaimer: I am not the spokesperson for all persons with a disability. These will be my experiences and my opinions about my experiences.)
Each Thursday, I will post an entry that discusses my opinion of various social issues: politics, race in America, economics, and so on. I’m full of opinions. So, I don’t expect to not have something to write about on Thursdays.
And finally, each Friday, I will post an entry discussing health and wellness. The health disparities in the African American community are staggering. We have to close these gaps. I firmly believe that health literacy, compliance, and increased self worth will help African Americans lower these startling stats.
I will begin my purpose filled blog next week. Until then, be encouraged and be a blessing to someone else.
Now that I am here, present on the World Wide Web, I must get organized. Being that I am a person that has many layers, experiences, and interests, I foresee that my entries will often times not be related to one another. So, for the sake of organization and clarity, I have developed a schedule in which I will adhere to. Hopefully, that will help you and I understand what’s going on, at least when it comes to my blog.
Each Monday, I will post entries that discuss disability issues. My friend asked me to disclose my experiences as a blind person in America. I must say, I really did not want to specifically focus on my experiences. But I will use my experiences to help explain or converse about some of the many barriers that people with disabilities must knock down, leap over, dismantle brick by brick, or dream about not really being there. I am mainly concerned about employment issues, the social aspects of disability, societal prejudices regarding disability, and accessible technology.
(Disclaimer: I am not the spokesperson for all persons with a disability. These will be my experiences and my opinions about my experiences.)
Each Thursday, I will post an entry that discusses my opinion of various social issues: politics, race in America, economics, and so on. I’m full of opinions. So, I don’t expect to not have something to write about on Thursdays.
And finally, each Friday, I will post an entry discussing health and wellness. The health disparities in the African American community are staggering. We have to close these gaps. I firmly believe that health literacy, compliance, and increased self worth will help African Americans lower these startling stats.
I will begin my purpose filled blog next week. Until then, be encouraged and be a blessing to someone else.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Learning to Cherish the Gift of Life
While working as a consultant for a small school district, I was asked to place a visit to one of the students that was severely disabled. I was asked to stimulate him through friendly interactions and play. I arrived to the classroom with my box of instructional toys, and was introduced to a small, eight-year-old boy strapped in a wheelchair. I greeted him, but he did not respond. I grabbed his hand, but his fingers were limp. His little head was slumped over. The child had not even looked up at me. I took my hand and placed it under his chin and lifted his darling head up. “Hello.”, I said. No salutation, moan, laugh, or wiggle came from the child. “How can I play with this child?” I thought. “His body is here, but he’s not.” I wanted to put all of my toys back in the box and leave. I felt saddened and upset for the child. How could anyone want to live that way? But I couldn’t leave. I had to do my job.
I tried to get a response out of him with my toys. I pulled out my rattle and put it in his hand. But his fingers did not grip the handle. I cuffed my hand over his hand so that he would hold the rattle. I shook it. But the boy did not respond. I pulled out my talking, school bus that sings the alphabet. But he was not interested in the bus or the happy melody that poured from the bus.
His teacher suggested that I try a toy that she described as his favorite. I placed his small, bony hands on the colorful toy and pushed a button, the toy started to vibrate and ring silly sounds. I couldn’t believe my ears. The child hummed a high pitched sound that sounding like he was expressing joy. “What? A sound from the boy?” I thought. Then I heard light tones coming from his mouth. His teacher said that he was laughing. I pressed another button, the toy buzzed and rattled. The happy sound came from the boy again. I was so delighted to see this lifeless child be filled with happiness and joy.
Last year, when the highly controversial case of Terri Schiavo, a severely brain damaged woman, who was in the middle of a highly inflammatory legal dispute between her parents and her husband on whether or not to keep her alive, was introduced to the world by the American press, I thought about my small, severely disabled student. I’m ashamed to admit that I initially thought this darling boy’s life was not worth living. But inside of his little body was a little boy that enjoyed what I thought of as simple and unimportant. He was enjoying life in his own way. I’m sure that the child’s mother would have been devastated if her little one was completely taken from her. Instead of being bitter about what she did not have in a son, she cherished every part of her little boy.
I learned from that experience that all life is valuable and that we should cherish every morsel of life. I also discovered that no matter how fractured or impaired a person’s abilities are, joy, love, peace, and happiness can be and should be experienced by every living person.
I tried to get a response out of him with my toys. I pulled out my rattle and put it in his hand. But his fingers did not grip the handle. I cuffed my hand over his hand so that he would hold the rattle. I shook it. But the boy did not respond. I pulled out my talking, school bus that sings the alphabet. But he was not interested in the bus or the happy melody that poured from the bus.
His teacher suggested that I try a toy that she described as his favorite. I placed his small, bony hands on the colorful toy and pushed a button, the toy started to vibrate and ring silly sounds. I couldn’t believe my ears. The child hummed a high pitched sound that sounding like he was expressing joy. “What? A sound from the boy?” I thought. Then I heard light tones coming from his mouth. His teacher said that he was laughing. I pressed another button, the toy buzzed and rattled. The happy sound came from the boy again. I was so delighted to see this lifeless child be filled with happiness and joy.
Last year, when the highly controversial case of Terri Schiavo, a severely brain damaged woman, who was in the middle of a highly inflammatory legal dispute between her parents and her husband on whether or not to keep her alive, was introduced to the world by the American press, I thought about my small, severely disabled student. I’m ashamed to admit that I initially thought this darling boy’s life was not worth living. But inside of his little body was a little boy that enjoyed what I thought of as simple and unimportant. He was enjoying life in his own way. I’m sure that the child’s mother would have been devastated if her little one was completely taken from her. Instead of being bitter about what she did not have in a son, she cherished every part of her little boy.
I learned from that experience that all life is valuable and that we should cherish every morsel of life. I also discovered that no matter how fractured or impaired a person’s abilities are, joy, love, peace, and happiness can be and should be experienced by every living person.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
A Little Bit About Me
I'm an African American, 31-year-old woman, single, without children, college educated, and a for real Christian. I currently reside in Bush country. For those of you who don’t know—Houston is the home of the President George and Barbara Bush. I’m so lucky! And for those of you that do not realize it—I am joking about the lucky part.
Back to the bio… I love to experience pleasure. Well, as long as the pleasure is within the frame of what I deem to be right or wrong. For instance, I’m not going to be trying crack anytime soon. It’s some things in the world that God did not intend on us manufacturing or perverting in order to experience pleasure.
Moving on… I’ve had to cope with a lot of pain. But I am not one of those people who run to pain, just because that’s what they are use to. Pain, while it may have been useful in helping me develop into a mature woman, it is not what I welcome into my life. Pain is one of those things that God allows for my growth. But to tell you the truth, if I had it my way, I sometimes would rather be dumb and immature. Well, that’s at least how I feel tonight. So, don’t quote me. LOL Tomorrow, I’ll probably be thanking God for all the pain that has made me a strong, bold sister in the body of faith.
I am the oldest daughter of 4 girls. My parents are divorced, and they never remarried anyone else. Although they have been divorced for nearly 20 years, we're still a close family. My sisters and I are all daddy's girls. I know that having a father in my life has made a difference. Mama is all of that. But kids really do need a good mother and father. I’ll blog later about how I feel about the state of the black family later this month.
I started losing my sight at the age of 10. By the time I was 17, I was completely without sight. I could still see light, but I had no functional vision. Two years later, light departed me. I haven’t seen the glowing rays of the sun since I was 19. Glaucoma is to blame for all of this mayhem that I have endured.
But I have a confession though… Losing my sight use to be the tragedy that defined my life. Now, I am redefining my life. I want my life to be defined by the fact that I am overcoming the tragedy that almost succeeded in overcoming me. Yes, sight is important. And I would almost give anything to see again. But learning to live and be happy with or without sight is what I’m aiming for. I haven’t quite succeeded. But I’m on the journey to the land of unconditional joy.
That’s it for now. I’ll fill you all in later. Be blessed.
Back to the bio… I love to experience pleasure. Well, as long as the pleasure is within the frame of what I deem to be right or wrong. For instance, I’m not going to be trying crack anytime soon. It’s some things in the world that God did not intend on us manufacturing or perverting in order to experience pleasure.
Moving on… I’ve had to cope with a lot of pain. But I am not one of those people who run to pain, just because that’s what they are use to. Pain, while it may have been useful in helping me develop into a mature woman, it is not what I welcome into my life. Pain is one of those things that God allows for my growth. But to tell you the truth, if I had it my way, I sometimes would rather be dumb and immature. Well, that’s at least how I feel tonight. So, don’t quote me. LOL Tomorrow, I’ll probably be thanking God for all the pain that has made me a strong, bold sister in the body of faith.
I am the oldest daughter of 4 girls. My parents are divorced, and they never remarried anyone else. Although they have been divorced for nearly 20 years, we're still a close family. My sisters and I are all daddy's girls. I know that having a father in my life has made a difference. Mama is all of that. But kids really do need a good mother and father. I’ll blog later about how I feel about the state of the black family later this month.
I started losing my sight at the age of 10. By the time I was 17, I was completely without sight. I could still see light, but I had no functional vision. Two years later, light departed me. I haven’t seen the glowing rays of the sun since I was 19. Glaucoma is to blame for all of this mayhem that I have endured.
But I have a confession though… Losing my sight use to be the tragedy that defined my life. Now, I am redefining my life. I want my life to be defined by the fact that I am overcoming the tragedy that almost succeeded in overcoming me. Yes, sight is important. And I would almost give anything to see again. But learning to live and be happy with or without sight is what I’m aiming for. I haven’t quite succeeded. But I’m on the journey to the land of unconditional joy.
That’s it for now. I’ll fill you all in later. Be blessed.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Pausing to Reflect and Celebrate
This year marked the anniversary of two very cataclysmic events in my life. One being my very distinctive thrust into what I think of as “real womanhood.” I turned 31-years-old. Yes, I am officially in my 30’s. I can no longer benefit from the excuses that the world makes for the 30 and under crowd. I have entered an era that forces me to not only look like an adult, but act like one
The other anniversary that caused me to pause and render it a great deal of attention was my 20-year anniversary of being considered legally blind. Wow! I can’t believe it has really been twenty years. Although it was two decades ago, I remember the first day that I was informed that I had contracted the thievish Glaucoma just as well as I can vividly remember the events of yesterday. While most students were excited about the leap from elementary school to junior high, I was losing my eye sight at a speed that left the eye specialist baffled and hunting for clues on what to do to help me capture at least a fraction of the sight that I was born with. But to no avail, the doctors’ best efforts couldn’t save my sight. After a vicious seven year battle that included fourteen surgeries, I was declared totally blind at the tender age of seventeen. The doctor’s considered my sight loss to be permanent.
Without a doubt, I think it’s time for a celebration, or at least some 30-something, bold reflections. I’m sure you’re wondering, “Why is she celebrating being blind?” I’m not celebrating a twenty-year anniversary of blindness. Far as I’m concerned, my blindness was a tragedy. What I am celebrating is the fact that so far, I have made it through this rigorous, dangerous, and sometimes heinous journey in tact. I have my mind, my life, and my joy. No eye sight, but I have me, a whole, complete me.
But with all that being said, I find myself facing challenges that I never imagined when I was a child/teenager/20-something girl that was blind. Life as a fully grown, 30-something, blind adult can sometimes overwhelm me. When I was a blind kid, I could get a break here or there. There were at least a few somebodies that felt the need to extend their loving arm of compassion towards me. But now that I am a grown woman, the response is different. The help I use to get, I don’t get any more. So, the independence that I had to exercise as a teen and young adult now had to be kicked to the highest gear.
My major concern now that I am in my 30’s is my financial security. First of all, I am not married. Secondly, as I get older, my parents are also getting older. The reality of their eventual demise grows more near with each day. The burden of making sure that I am taken care of for the rest of my life is sitting on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. Hence, I am taking some extremely calculated steps to make sure that my future gets and stays bright.
I began my journey to create a bright future by taking steps to become physically healthy. I have made a commitment to lose excess pounds, exercise, and change my diet. Being blind is hard enough. I certainly don’t want a stroke or heart attack to be in my future. Weight related illnesses, such as Diabetes, hypertension, congested heart failure run deeply in my family. I have witnessed how serious illness can hinder a person’s ability to stay gainfully employed, thereby, causing them to lose control of their finances.
The second step I am taking is to further build my credentials. I shoved my laziness and pride aside and returned back to school to complete my masters. At this point, my bachelors degree hasn’t meant anything to anyone but me, my parents and the admissions department for my graduate school. So, rather than pout about not being able to get a “good job” with my bachelors degree, I went back to school to gain a masters degree.
In addition, I promised myself that I would take the steps to unleash the entrepreneurial spirit within me. Instead of waiting on an employer to give me an opportunity, I am working hard to create opportunities for myself. It is my responsibility and only my responsibility to make sure that I am the recipient of a desirable income. So, if that means that I have to start my own business to have the income that I need and deserve, then that’s what I have to do. The only place that waiting on someone else to give me an opportunity gets me is waiting in the welfare line.
I’ve also made a decision to be a wiser consumer. My daddy and mama may not live forever, but the Benjamins do. I have made a commitment to save for those rainy days that I seem to have pretty often, save for my future as a old woman that’s blind, make purchases that are smart and efficient, and give to others in their time of need. Having money is not the answer to all of my problems, but it will solve a lot of them now and I’m sure in the future.
Being blind and 30-something is pretty frightening. But when I factor in the new goals that I set for my life, I am certain that my future is pretty bright.
The other anniversary that caused me to pause and render it a great deal of attention was my 20-year anniversary of being considered legally blind. Wow! I can’t believe it has really been twenty years. Although it was two decades ago, I remember the first day that I was informed that I had contracted the thievish Glaucoma just as well as I can vividly remember the events of yesterday. While most students were excited about the leap from elementary school to junior high, I was losing my eye sight at a speed that left the eye specialist baffled and hunting for clues on what to do to help me capture at least a fraction of the sight that I was born with. But to no avail, the doctors’ best efforts couldn’t save my sight. After a vicious seven year battle that included fourteen surgeries, I was declared totally blind at the tender age of seventeen. The doctor’s considered my sight loss to be permanent.
Without a doubt, I think it’s time for a celebration, or at least some 30-something, bold reflections. I’m sure you’re wondering, “Why is she celebrating being blind?” I’m not celebrating a twenty-year anniversary of blindness. Far as I’m concerned, my blindness was a tragedy. What I am celebrating is the fact that so far, I have made it through this rigorous, dangerous, and sometimes heinous journey in tact. I have my mind, my life, and my joy. No eye sight, but I have me, a whole, complete me.
But with all that being said, I find myself facing challenges that I never imagined when I was a child/teenager/20-something girl that was blind. Life as a fully grown, 30-something, blind adult can sometimes overwhelm me. When I was a blind kid, I could get a break here or there. There were at least a few somebodies that felt the need to extend their loving arm of compassion towards me. But now that I am a grown woman, the response is different. The help I use to get, I don’t get any more. So, the independence that I had to exercise as a teen and young adult now had to be kicked to the highest gear.
My major concern now that I am in my 30’s is my financial security. First of all, I am not married. Secondly, as I get older, my parents are also getting older. The reality of their eventual demise grows more near with each day. The burden of making sure that I am taken care of for the rest of my life is sitting on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. Hence, I am taking some extremely calculated steps to make sure that my future gets and stays bright.
I began my journey to create a bright future by taking steps to become physically healthy. I have made a commitment to lose excess pounds, exercise, and change my diet. Being blind is hard enough. I certainly don’t want a stroke or heart attack to be in my future. Weight related illnesses, such as Diabetes, hypertension, congested heart failure run deeply in my family. I have witnessed how serious illness can hinder a person’s ability to stay gainfully employed, thereby, causing them to lose control of their finances.
The second step I am taking is to further build my credentials. I shoved my laziness and pride aside and returned back to school to complete my masters. At this point, my bachelors degree hasn’t meant anything to anyone but me, my parents and the admissions department for my graduate school. So, rather than pout about not being able to get a “good job” with my bachelors degree, I went back to school to gain a masters degree.
In addition, I promised myself that I would take the steps to unleash the entrepreneurial spirit within me. Instead of waiting on an employer to give me an opportunity, I am working hard to create opportunities for myself. It is my responsibility and only my responsibility to make sure that I am the recipient of a desirable income. So, if that means that I have to start my own business to have the income that I need and deserve, then that’s what I have to do. The only place that waiting on someone else to give me an opportunity gets me is waiting in the welfare line.
I’ve also made a decision to be a wiser consumer. My daddy and mama may not live forever, but the Benjamins do. I have made a commitment to save for those rainy days that I seem to have pretty often, save for my future as a old woman that’s blind, make purchases that are smart and efficient, and give to others in their time of need. Having money is not the answer to all of my problems, but it will solve a lot of them now and I’m sure in the future.
Being blind and 30-something is pretty frightening. But when I factor in the new goals that I set for my life, I am certain that my future is pretty bright.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Still Excited
Since my first post, which happens to also be my last post, so many things have transpired, one being computer problems. When I first started this blog, I was so excited and ready to go. But before I could start on my journey in the land of blogging, a virus viciously attacked my computer. The virus scrambled the registries on my hard drive. I wasn’t able to access the internet or check e-mail. What a pity.
But now I’m back. The computer tech that fixes my computer is $50 richer, and I am back surfing the internet, checking and sending e-mails, and posting on blog sites, including my own. (smile) Even though my start on this blog was brought to a screeching halt, I have returned, with the same excitement and vigor that I possessed at the beginning of the month.
In the next few days, I will publish my first official post on this blog. So, check me out and post your comments. Be blessed!
But now I’m back. The computer tech that fixes my computer is $50 richer, and I am back surfing the internet, checking and sending e-mails, and posting on blog sites, including my own. (smile) Even though my start on this blog was brought to a screeching halt, I have returned, with the same excitement and vigor that I possessed at the beginning of the month.
In the next few days, I will publish my first official post on this blog. So, check me out and post your comments. Be blessed!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I'm Officially a Blogger!
I’m so excited! I’m officially a blogger. I’m looking forward to posting comments and reading comments posted by my friends, potential friends, and stragglers that pass through this site.
I want this to be a place that folks feel comfortable exchanging ideas, even if the ideas conflict. But understand this… Disrespect of any kind, profanity, and slander will not be tolerated. Now, I’m a fan of a saucy debate. But let’s stay within the borders of respect and love.
I welcome you with a big heart and a big smile. I pray that you enjoy this as much as I do. God bless!
I want this to be a place that folks feel comfortable exchanging ideas, even if the ideas conflict. But understand this… Disrespect of any kind, profanity, and slander will not be tolerated. Now, I’m a fan of a saucy debate. But let’s stay within the borders of respect and love.
I welcome you with a big heart and a big smile. I pray that you enjoy this as much as I do. God bless!
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