Sunday, March 06, 2011
The Skin I'm In
Yesterday, while speaking on a panel discussion at a conference for the blind and visually impaired, I suggested that one of the ways a person can adjust to their physical impairment is by learning to love every part of oneself, including the parts that don't work so good or so fast. I never thought I would get to this point, but I'm learning to be okay with all of who I am. I am blind. And it's all good! I will never ever apologize for this skin I'm in. So, I depart from the shame and run towards the light of self-love and liberation.
Monday, February 14, 2011
If I have so much to say, why am I not saying it?
There is no doubt that I've had plenty of introspections, ideas, and experiences that I've could've written about in the name of blogging. So, why haven't I? Hmm... Not sure... If nothing else, I could've been using this platform to unload, to unburden myself of some of the weight I'm carrying. But instead, I've stayed silent. Maybe I just don't have the energy to share some of the things I've been going through lately.
So, I apologize to my faithful readers. You come by and visit, even though I haven't posted anything in a while. Again, I apologize to you.
Well, if nothing else, I've certainly had some random reflections. So, keeping with my tradition of posting my random reflections when I have nothing to say, or when I have something to say, but no energy to say it.... Here goes...
Wait a minute... Hold on... I just had a thought...
Instead of me writing about my random reflections, which are not actually all that random, I'm going to save those things for "real" blog entries for the upcoming weeks.
Here's some of the topics you can look forward to.
1. The Blind Card
2. The Beautiful Cyclops
3. The Real Reason I Can't Swim
Alright... Meet you back here in a couple days.
Many blessings!
Angela
So, I apologize to my faithful readers. You come by and visit, even though I haven't posted anything in a while. Again, I apologize to you.
Well, if nothing else, I've certainly had some random reflections. So, keeping with my tradition of posting my random reflections when I have nothing to say, or when I have something to say, but no energy to say it.... Here goes...
Wait a minute... Hold on... I just had a thought...
Instead of me writing about my random reflections, which are not actually all that random, I'm going to save those things for "real" blog entries for the upcoming weeks.
Here's some of the topics you can look forward to.
1. The Blind Card
2. The Beautiful Cyclops
3. The Real Reason I Can't Swim
Alright... Meet you back here in a couple days.
Many blessings!
Angela
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Light
I’ve been under stress since I was eight-years-old. So, I’m pretty good at stress management. Most people would crumble under the amount of stress that I’ve been under in the last 25-years. However, I’ve managed to stay on top. And it’s not because I’m so strong or so smart. It’s mainly because I’ve always been open to the notion that light can drive out the fear and anxiety that darkness brings.
Today, I’m surrounded by darkness. And I’m not talking about visual darkness. I’m talking about the darkness that comes when life circumstances are so gloomy and dark that it’s hard to find hope and encouragement. Right now, I’m battling fear, worry, and anxiety. However, I’m calling for the light to strike the darkness and drive the negative feelings away. I’m commanding the light to overtake the darkness and allow me to see God in all of this that I’m going through.
**God, I know you’re still here with me. But it would do my heart well to see you right now. God, Please shine your light and drive the darkness away so that I might see your hand at work in this situation.
I know I haven’t told you a lot lately, but I do love you beyond human measure. And my heart is yours. I place my life in your capable and loving hands.
Your child,
Angela**
Today, I’m surrounded by darkness. And I’m not talking about visual darkness. I’m talking about the darkness that comes when life circumstances are so gloomy and dark that it’s hard to find hope and encouragement. Right now, I’m battling fear, worry, and anxiety. However, I’m calling for the light to strike the darkness and drive the negative feelings away. I’m commanding the light to overtake the darkness and allow me to see God in all of this that I’m going through.
**God, I know you’re still here with me. But it would do my heart well to see you right now. God, Please shine your light and drive the darkness away so that I might see your hand at work in this situation.
I know I haven’t told you a lot lately, but I do love you beyond human measure. And my heart is yours. I place my life in your capable and loving hands.
Your child,
Angela**
Sunday, January 02, 2011
The Tiny Giant (Part 1 of 4)
I’ve been hearing people say that 2011 is the beginning of a new decade. That idea got me to thinking… Hmmm… Is it really the beginning of a new decade, or was last year the beginning of a new decade?
Okay… Let’s think about this together… When we flipped from 1999 to 2000, people were calling that the new millennia. But was it? I’m thinking that the year 2000 was the last year of that particular century. Were we counting from 0 to 99 or 1 to 100?
Well if we were counting from 0 to 99, last year was the beginning of this particular decade, not this year… Yeah, I know that’s a little quirky and a bit technical… LOL My brain can be a little weird at times.
If you have some ideas on this let me know.
Okay… On to the good stuff…
Well, every since 2000 rolled in, my life took on a different look and texture than it had been before the start of the so called new millennia”. It was the first week of 2000 that I entered full time employment. It was the first year that I started my own business. It was the first year that I started feeling like a woman. I was 25 then. I was young and ready to take on the world! And I had proof that I could conquer the world. Just two years before the turn of the so called “new century”, I had successfully matriculated through a hellish college experience. So, I was convinced I could do any task that was placed before me.
Now, that I’m well beyond 25, I realize how much of a child I really was. Yeah, I was mature for my age, but I was so young, so naive, so inexperienced, so inspired to believe that there was nothing that could stop me from achieving my personal best. Now that I look back on the year 2000, I realize how innocent, pure, unchaste, and relentless I was. I had unbendable hope, defiant faith, and unwavering determination. Nothing… And I mean nothing was going to stop me.
Little did I know that in 2002, I would be introduced to a pervading force that was so strong, so bold, so fierce, and so vicious, that even the super, courageous, always achieving, blind girl would be knocked flat on her face, with no clue if she had the tools to overcome the towering giant. I was completely clueless that there was a set of circumstances that could leave me stammering and fumbling in the dark more than my blindness had.
However, on the night of August 2, 2002, a tiny, but massive giant marched upon my village and crushed the hut I was so comfortably living in. Without any detectable warning, the unforgiving giant traveled through my mother’s veins up to her brain and reeked havoc on a woman that was thought of as a saint by so many. On That unforgettable Friday night, a blood clot the size of a tiny pencil lead suffocated a major portion of my mother’s brain. She suffered a massive stroke . And there is no doubt that stroke changed the course of her life, as well as the lives of her daughters.
The night of August 2, 2002, I began to learn that a stroke was much more than a blood clot that attacks the brain. Over the last 8 years, I've learned that tiny clot not only kills brain cells, it kills and disables the family structure, stability, and direction.
**To be continued…**
(Update on the new millennia thing… I found out that there is a debate when the new millennia actually began. So, I’m on to an idea that’s already up in the air. So, for the record, it is unclear if 2010 or 2011 was the beginning of the new decade. But far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t really matter. I’m just glad for the new year.)
Okay… Let’s think about this together… When we flipped from 1999 to 2000, people were calling that the new millennia. But was it? I’m thinking that the year 2000 was the last year of that particular century. Were we counting from 0 to 99 or 1 to 100?
Well if we were counting from 0 to 99, last year was the beginning of this particular decade, not this year… Yeah, I know that’s a little quirky and a bit technical… LOL My brain can be a little weird at times.
If you have some ideas on this let me know.
Okay… On to the good stuff…
Well, every since 2000 rolled in, my life took on a different look and texture than it had been before the start of the so called new millennia”. It was the first week of 2000 that I entered full time employment. It was the first year that I started my own business. It was the first year that I started feeling like a woman. I was 25 then. I was young and ready to take on the world! And I had proof that I could conquer the world. Just two years before the turn of the so called “new century”, I had successfully matriculated through a hellish college experience. So, I was convinced I could do any task that was placed before me.
Now, that I’m well beyond 25, I realize how much of a child I really was. Yeah, I was mature for my age, but I was so young, so naive, so inexperienced, so inspired to believe that there was nothing that could stop me from achieving my personal best. Now that I look back on the year 2000, I realize how innocent, pure, unchaste, and relentless I was. I had unbendable hope, defiant faith, and unwavering determination. Nothing… And I mean nothing was going to stop me.
Little did I know that in 2002, I would be introduced to a pervading force that was so strong, so bold, so fierce, and so vicious, that even the super, courageous, always achieving, blind girl would be knocked flat on her face, with no clue if she had the tools to overcome the towering giant. I was completely clueless that there was a set of circumstances that could leave me stammering and fumbling in the dark more than my blindness had.
However, on the night of August 2, 2002, a tiny, but massive giant marched upon my village and crushed the hut I was so comfortably living in. Without any detectable warning, the unforgiving giant traveled through my mother’s veins up to her brain and reeked havoc on a woman that was thought of as a saint by so many. On That unforgettable Friday night, a blood clot the size of a tiny pencil lead suffocated a major portion of my mother’s brain. She suffered a massive stroke . And there is no doubt that stroke changed the course of her life, as well as the lives of her daughters.
The night of August 2, 2002, I began to learn that a stroke was much more than a blood clot that attacks the brain. Over the last 8 years, I've learned that tiny clot not only kills brain cells, it kills and disables the family structure, stability, and direction.
**To be continued…**
(Update on the new millennia thing… I found out that there is a debate when the new millennia actually began. So, I’m on to an idea that’s already up in the air. So, for the record, it is unclear if 2010 or 2011 was the beginning of the new decade. But far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t really matter. I’m just glad for the new year.)
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Happy New Year!!!!!
I'd like to wish all of my readers a Happy New Year!!!!!
I hope that this year brings you great success and triumph!!!!!
Stay tuned for my 2010 reflections and my 2011 goals. I'll post them within the next few days. It's going to be good!!!!
Love and peace to you!
Angela L. Braden
I hope that this year brings you great success and triumph!!!!!
Stay tuned for my 2010 reflections and my 2011 goals. I'll post them within the next few days. It's going to be good!!!!
Love and peace to you!
Angela L. Braden
Thursday, December 23, 2010
A CHRISTMAS GIFT OF MUSIC TO ALL OF MY READERS
Here's a beautiful gift of music that I would like to share with all of my readers. It is a beautiful rendition of "O' Come All Ye Faithful", played by the marvelously talented, Chad Brawley. Enjoy!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Going Blind, The Movie
A few moments ago, I read an article about a documentary that showcases the lives of individuals that have experienced sight loss. It seems very interesting, insightful, and educational!!!!! Although I've only viewed the trailer, I thought I would still go ahead and recommend it to you guys. I think it would be worth our while to support this film.
The documentary is entitled, Going Blind. You can watch the trailer, as well as purchase the video here.
Spread the word and. Let me know what you think of the film.
Many blessings!
Angela Braden
The documentary is entitled, Going Blind. You can watch the trailer, as well as purchase the video here.
Spread the word and. Let me know what you think of the film.
Many blessings!
Angela Braden
Friday, December 03, 2010
Would I want to live forever? Hmm...
I used to shutter at the idea of dying. I hated that the only guarantee of life was that we, all of us, including myself, would one day have to die. However, as I've matured, and as I better understand what it means to live and live free, I am certain that I don't want to live forever.
As we live, we are surely dying slowly. Our brain cells are dying. Our bones are thinning. Our heart is growing more tired. Our veins are stiffening. Our senses are fading. And as all of those natural body changes are occurring, disabilities, illnesses, and impairments are sure to come.
Tonight, I told my friend to make sure that they respected my DNR if I was to suffer cardiac arrest or a stroke that clearly damaged my brain. I told them that living with one disability has been hard enough these 25 years, even though I've learned to live, love, and laugh, despite my disability. But the idea of adding to my disabilities as an lonely, sick, elderly woman would certainly be more than I desire to live with. **Just keeping it real.**
I asked her to understand that I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. And since I am not married, and I do not have any children, I would certainly become the responsibility of some family member or friend that would soon grow weary of taking care of me. I am sure I would be placed in some government funded nursing home, fully staffed with rude, lazy, badly trained workers, with no one to come and make sure that I am being cared for properly.
So, to get to my point... I do not want to live forever, especially if my body has already died.
Instead of crying over my lifeless body, trying to figure out if you should pull the plug or not, let me go ahead and get to heaven so that I can find that tree I've been hearing about since I was akid. I got a leaf to pluck in glory!!!!!! LOL
Angela Braden
As we live, we are surely dying slowly. Our brain cells are dying. Our bones are thinning. Our heart is growing more tired. Our veins are stiffening. Our senses are fading. And as all of those natural body changes are occurring, disabilities, illnesses, and impairments are sure to come.
Tonight, I told my friend to make sure that they respected my DNR if I was to suffer cardiac arrest or a stroke that clearly damaged my brain. I told them that living with one disability has been hard enough these 25 years, even though I've learned to live, love, and laugh, despite my disability. But the idea of adding to my disabilities as an lonely, sick, elderly woman would certainly be more than I desire to live with. **Just keeping it real.**
I asked her to understand that I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. And since I am not married, and I do not have any children, I would certainly become the responsibility of some family member or friend that would soon grow weary of taking care of me. I am sure I would be placed in some government funded nursing home, fully staffed with rude, lazy, badly trained workers, with no one to come and make sure that I am being cared for properly.
So, to get to my point... I do not want to live forever, especially if my body has already died.
Instead of crying over my lifeless body, trying to figure out if you should pull the plug or not, let me go ahead and get to heaven so that I can find that tree I've been hearing about since I was akid. I got a leaf to pluck in glory!!!!!! LOL
Angela Braden
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving to my NuVision Family!!!
I just wanted to take some time to wish all of my wonderful readers a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!
I'm thankful for alot this season!!!!! One of the things I'm certainly thankful for is my faithful readers that drive by my spot on the world wide web. I appreciate you for taking time out of your schedule to support NuVision for a NuDay!!!!!!!
I pray you enjoy the holiday season!!!!!!! Eat well, drink well, and love well!!!!!!!! And whatever you do, look within to find the vision that God has deposited in your heart. He placed it there for you to see your greatest potential!!!!!!
Many blessings to you!
Angela L. Braden
I'm thankful for alot this season!!!!! One of the things I'm certainly thankful for is my faithful readers that drive by my spot on the world wide web. I appreciate you for taking time out of your schedule to support NuVision for a NuDay!!!!!!!
I pray you enjoy the holiday season!!!!!!! Eat well, drink well, and love well!!!!!!!! And whatever you do, look within to find the vision that God has deposited in your heart. He placed it there for you to see your greatest potential!!!!!!
Many blessings to you!
Angela L. Braden
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Unfixable
The other day, my sister, Paula and her kids, took me to the airport. As we were riding, my nephew, Joseph, leaned up from his seat to where I was sitting in the front-passenger-seat. Out of the blue, he asked me, “Can doctors fix blind people?”
I didn’t know what to say. I knew what my nephew was really thinking. He wanted to know if there was any help for his blind auntie. At that very moment, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that so far the doctors haven’t been able to “fix” blind people that have my specific eye condition.
I quickly started to figure that no matter what, Joseph deserved to know the truth about me and my unfixable, completely damaged optic nerves. I took a deep breath and broke the bad news to him. “As of right now, there’s nothing the doctors can do to help Auntie.”
“That’s a shame.” He quickly replied. He went on to say that doctors needed to find some kind of way to fix blind people. He continued by telling me, his blind aunt, that being blind was such a sad thing to be in this world.
I silently wondered what I had done or not done to make my nine-year-old nephew think that being blind was such a sad thing to be. Although being blind is pretty annoying, I try to live my life in a way that the kids don’t see me as a helpless, hopeless, sad, little lamb.
But does Joseph really see me that way? Or is he now old enough to realize that not having any sight really does significantly impact most of what I do, in addition to what I desire to do. Maybe Joseph has taken notice how much my blindness has inconvenienced me when it’s time to go somewhere. Perhaps Joseph has just now started to discover how different I am from all of the other women in his life. Could it be that Joseph is now processing what I already know, but didn’t want him to know; that being blind honestly sucks.
Joseph leaned up closer to my face. I could feel his soft cheek on my ear. He touched my shoulder with his little man hand and firmly, yet compassionately said to me, “Everything is going to be alright.”
I nearly cried at that moment. I was comforted by my Joseph’s blossoming compassion for his auntie. A drape of love had just been placed around my shoulders by this young child. Instead of allowing tears to roll from my unfixable eyes, I turned and kissed his handsome face and reassured him that everything would indeed be alright.
**At this point, I don’t have a lot of wealth to leave to the kids when I depart this current life. So, I write these narratives to offer them a treasure of love and memories to cherish through their lives. They are truly my motivation for writing.**
I didn’t know what to say. I knew what my nephew was really thinking. He wanted to know if there was any help for his blind auntie. At that very moment, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that so far the doctors haven’t been able to “fix” blind people that have my specific eye condition.
I quickly started to figure that no matter what, Joseph deserved to know the truth about me and my unfixable, completely damaged optic nerves. I took a deep breath and broke the bad news to him. “As of right now, there’s nothing the doctors can do to help Auntie.”
“That’s a shame.” He quickly replied. He went on to say that doctors needed to find some kind of way to fix blind people. He continued by telling me, his blind aunt, that being blind was such a sad thing to be in this world.
I silently wondered what I had done or not done to make my nine-year-old nephew think that being blind was such a sad thing to be. Although being blind is pretty annoying, I try to live my life in a way that the kids don’t see me as a helpless, hopeless, sad, little lamb.
But does Joseph really see me that way? Or is he now old enough to realize that not having any sight really does significantly impact most of what I do, in addition to what I desire to do. Maybe Joseph has taken notice how much my blindness has inconvenienced me when it’s time to go somewhere. Perhaps Joseph has just now started to discover how different I am from all of the other women in his life. Could it be that Joseph is now processing what I already know, but didn’t want him to know; that being blind honestly sucks.
Joseph leaned up closer to my face. I could feel his soft cheek on my ear. He touched my shoulder with his little man hand and firmly, yet compassionately said to me, “Everything is going to be alright.”
I nearly cried at that moment. I was comforted by my Joseph’s blossoming compassion for his auntie. A drape of love had just been placed around my shoulders by this young child. Instead of allowing tears to roll from my unfixable eyes, I turned and kissed his handsome face and reassured him that everything would indeed be alright.
**At this point, I don’t have a lot of wealth to leave to the kids when I depart this current life. So, I write these narratives to offer them a treasure of love and memories to cherish through their lives. They are truly my motivation for writing.**
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
That's What Friends Are For
To all of my readers:
Yes, I know that this blog is supposed to be dedicated to showcasing my experiences as a blind woman. However, there are a few times that I drive down a different road. Today, I'm going to use my blog to recommend that you guys check out the wonderful, the fantastic, the soulful, the talented, jazz bassist, Joseph Toliver. He's one of my best friends!!!!!! To learn more about his music and to purchase a CD, check out his website. http://www.josephtoliver.com
His project is being sold on Amazon and Itunes for digital download. Do yourself a favor and add Joseph Toliver to your music library. I wouldn't ask you to do anything I haven't already done. I bought the project today!!!!
Let me know what you think.
Angie B.
Yes, I know that this blog is supposed to be dedicated to showcasing my experiences as a blind woman. However, there are a few times that I drive down a different road. Today, I'm going to use my blog to recommend that you guys check out the wonderful, the fantastic, the soulful, the talented, jazz bassist, Joseph Toliver. He's one of my best friends!!!!!! To learn more about his music and to purchase a CD, check out his website. http://www.josephtoliver.com
His project is being sold on Amazon and Itunes for digital download. Do yourself a favor and add Joseph Toliver to your music library. I wouldn't ask you to do anything I haven't already done. I bought the project today!!!!
Let me know what you think.
Angie B.
Saturday, September 04, 2010
My Random Reflections for the Week
These are my very random reflections.
1. This week, I've been working out twice a day, and I've cut back in my diet. Instead of losing weight, I gained two pounds. I'm so confused!!!!! I'm trying not to get discouraged, but this weight issue I have is on my dog on nerves.
2. My soon to be seven-year-old niece, Jasmine, just came upstairs and asked me if I was gone to the store yet. I told her that I left five minutes ago. She and I both chuckled. LOL Yes, I know... We're silly! I love Jasmine!!!!!!
3. I just found out that I'm in the service area for our city's ADA metro service. I'm so excited!!!!!!! Now, I'll be able to move around in the city like I used to. I can't wait to get going. I'm sure I'll have plenty stories to tell once I start being more mobile.
4. I'm meeting so many new family members as we are gathering to plan our grand reunion. I'm amazed how most of them don't act shocked when they find out that I'm blind. Is it because we're all getting older, wiser, and more mature? Or is it because society's views on the disabled is improving? Hmm... Good question...
5. Even though I'm not losing weight, I do appreciate the fact that I'm doing my heart a favor by riding my bike. I know my body is glad to be moving. And I know that it will render good results for me in the long run.
6. In less than one month, my financial situation will improve. I can't wait!!!!!
7. My site for my speaking and training business is not completely finished. However, I want to invite you to take a look at it. http://www.bradenspeaks.com
By the way... If you would like to book me to speak at an upcoming event, by all means, contact me!!!!!!!!
8. I'm looking forward to hanging with my girls in LA in December. Yes, I know that's three months away. That's how much I'm looking forward to it!!!!!
1. This week, I've been working out twice a day, and I've cut back in my diet. Instead of losing weight, I gained two pounds. I'm so confused!!!!! I'm trying not to get discouraged, but this weight issue I have is on my dog on nerves.
2. My soon to be seven-year-old niece, Jasmine, just came upstairs and asked me if I was gone to the store yet. I told her that I left five minutes ago. She and I both chuckled. LOL Yes, I know... We're silly! I love Jasmine!!!!!!
3. I just found out that I'm in the service area for our city's ADA metro service. I'm so excited!!!!!!! Now, I'll be able to move around in the city like I used to. I can't wait to get going. I'm sure I'll have plenty stories to tell once I start being more mobile.
4. I'm meeting so many new family members as we are gathering to plan our grand reunion. I'm amazed how most of them don't act shocked when they find out that I'm blind. Is it because we're all getting older, wiser, and more mature? Or is it because society's views on the disabled is improving? Hmm... Good question...
5. Even though I'm not losing weight, I do appreciate the fact that I'm doing my heart a favor by riding my bike. I know my body is glad to be moving. And I know that it will render good results for me in the long run.
6. In less than one month, my financial situation will improve. I can't wait!!!!!
7. My site for my speaking and training business is not completely finished. However, I want to invite you to take a look at it. http://www.bradenspeaks.com
By the way... If you would like to book me to speak at an upcoming event, by all means, contact me!!!!!!!!
8. I'm looking forward to hanging with my girls in LA in December. Yes, I know that's three months away. That's how much I'm looking forward to it!!!!!
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