In a day and age that most African American men are dodging the bullets of responsibility when it comes to fatherhood, my father is taking all of the bullets for his girls. My father didn’t allow the tragedy of divorce to disconnect himself from his daughters. Every single day, he started his morning by calling us and wishing us a good day. Every night he called to hear each of our voices before we went to sleep.
He was never late on child support, even when he was out of work due to injury. Whenever my mother needed some extra money for whatever, she knew she could call my daddy, without him tripping about giving her more money on top of the child support. If my sister’s and I needed something extra for school and Mama didn’t have it, we all knew that we could call our Daddy. Heck, we still can call him right now for money. If there is a need, Daddy tries his best to meet it.
And my father is not just one of those dad’s that represent with the cash, but not with time. Daddy has always made himself available emotionally and otherwise. Always attending school activities, going to the school to talk to the school administrators when one of my sisters (Paula and Frances) were doing something they had no business doing, taking folks to work/school when cars were stalled, sitting up at the hospitals with us when we had to go in for emergencies, and hanging out at the house for no reason at all, other than to be with his daughters…
Fathering girls can be quite a task. But Daddy, sometimes with a frown on his face, always hangs in there with his rock and roll girls. I pretty much don’t give Daddy and Mama any problems, other than the problems that come with being blind. But those other girls… Lord, have mercy! They have made Daddy’s hair gray and then fall out. But no matter what these girls do to make his life more frustrating, he keeps coming back. He hasn’t gone out for that infamous loaf of bread yet. So, I think we’re still lucky to have him.
My father accepts the challenge to be a good father everyday. But he goes beyond the normal call and acts as a good father to his disabled child. Being a father of a disabled child demands so much more time, energy, cash, and responsibility. And my daddy has never shucked his responsibility to be my father. He’s done everything he can to make my life livable, and to give me many reasons to smile.
Our car is not running right now, and nobody, including Daddy has the money to get it fixed. So, Daddy gets up every morning, drives up here (15 miles) to the suburbs where I live, pick me up for work, and then drive me all the way to my job, which is 40 miles away. And in the evening he picks me up and puts more miles on his truck and burns more of this high price gas for his baby. When I apologize over and over for him having to do that for me, he says that it is the least he could do. He says that he wants to see his baby be successful. What a great man!
When you have a father like my daddy, it is hard to accept any nonsense from these men out there. Well, let me speak for myself. (smile) It is hard for me to just accept any man that is walking for a boyfriend/husband. Because my daddy has set the standard so high, I cannot and will not accept anything less than the best. And I don’t think anything is wrong with that. If more girls had fathers like mine, they would be making different choices. (But that’s another blog entry.)
By the way… My daddy has now taken his excellent fathering to another level. He’s now a great grandfather. I don’t have any kids of my own. But I can’t ignore or not mention what a great grandfather he is to Jasmine, Gabrielle, and Joseph. They are so lucky!
To my father, who I love so intensely and deeply: Happy Father’s Day!!! May God richly bless your life. May you experience a double portion of happiness, love, peace, and grace. May all of your days left on this side contain good health, more time, more money, more laughs, and an a overdose of love.
From your oldest child,
Angie Braden
Certified Daddy’s Girl
P.S.
Later this week, I’ll blog about how my dad has helped me recover and heal from all the turmoil and hardship that I’ve had to endure over the years. He’s been a great dad, and a help to me during some of the hardest points in my life. I’ll talk about how he has helped me on my journey to find love, acceptance, and peace.
Check out this other entry I posted back in December about my father. It's one of my favorite post.
Daddy's Best
7 comments:
When you have a father like my daddy, it is hard to accept any nonsense from these men out there. Well, let me speak for myself. (smile) It is hard for me to just accept any man that is walking for a boyfriend/husband. Because my daddy has set the standard so high, I cannot and will not accept anything less than the best. And I don’t think anything is wrong with that. If more girls had fathers like mine, they would be making different choices. (But that’s another blog entry.)
Of this, the church says
AMEN!
People have criticized me that I'm 'too hard' on Brothers.
I usually tell them that the negative images put forth out in the media, are just that to me - images. That they have no bearing on the reality of the life I knew growing up.
And, it's hard for me to reconcile that my father was some sort of 'freak of nature', and not just a Good Black Man.
I believe that my father was a diamond. But, like diamonds, the truth is, they are plentiful and bountiful. And, I happen to believe that possibility for Black men.
So, no, why should I accept anything less than the diamond my mother got. I think I have the basics on how to succeed at marriage, and am willing to put the work into it. Considering that I only want to marry ONCE, I want to get it right.
Angie,your father sounds like a doll. A true Father.
I have a great dad, too! I think there are more good fathers out there than people think. I thank God for the men who have taken responsibility for their children. I know your daddy is proud of you!
We are expecting our first child in August. By God's strength and grace, I hope to be like your Father. Very inspirational!
Blessings
Yes, Rikyrah, I'm with you about waiting for that man that resembles the greatness we saw in our fathers. My dad didn't make a lot of money. But all that he had, he made sure he used it to make sure we had the best. I need a man that's unselfish like that. Someone that is willing to create millions out of a few cents.
Renea, thanks so much for stopping by. You finally decided to comment. (smile) I'm glad.
Asa, I'm glad to hear that you and your wife are expecting a baby. That's great! I'm sure you'll be a great father. Because you want to be, I'm sure you will take the steps to making that thing happen. Let me know when the baby comes.
God bless!
hi Angie,
i'm a first time visitor to your blog, & love everything i've read so far. but i just couldn't help commenting on this post, even if it was a while ago.
it took me 44 years to find my soulmate. because this man couldn't just be all the things that fit well with my personality, he also had to be as responsible as my daddy. i thought i'd prolly end up spending my life alone, but that was ok. it was better than settling.
soulmate & i have been together 5 1/2 years now. its definitely true that good things come to those who wait.
B. Medusa, Thanks for dropping me a visit and a comment. I'm honored that you stopped my way.
If I'm not mistaken, I've read some of your comments over at Free Slave's spot. Good to see you here.
Peace,
Angie
Angie, its an honor to find your blog. i don't usually comment much on the blogs i read, but its always a pleasure to find a new one this good. and my daddy raised 3 girls too (i was the one who gave him his gray hair lol). he finally now has a boy to dote on, a grandson (my nephew).
btw, that is me you've seen over @ the Freeslave's blog.
Post a Comment